Feeling Big and Small.  There are times in our lives when we feel small and insignificant. For instance, by looking into a clear night sky can make one feel tiny. In addition, listening to a long list of accomplishments of a guest speaker may make us feel inadequate; then we are the next one up to speak after they have completed their presentation.  

I can recall being a guest speaker at a humble meeting hall put on by a local Kriya Yoga group in the hot summer and with no air conditioning. When I arrived and throughout the duration of my time there, I was treated like a queen especially by the Yoga master who was the guest of honor. However, I was invited to talk about Unity and spirituality to a room full of dedicated Kriya Yoga students sitting on their yoga mats. I felt inadequately experienced and educated in their disciplined field of expertise.

Nevertheless, I kept remembering during the evening how adequate I was in giving a talk on Unity and oneness with students everywhere and in the very hall filled with students seeking expanded spiritual consciousness. That was the equalizer. It made me feel OK in the presence of the Master and the awaiting students.

Life is like that—we have times of great heights when we are filled with confidence, aliveness, and know-how. Then later someone rips into us for no sensible reason and we may tumble into self-criticism or worse self-condemnation. We might think to ourselves: “If I would have loved them more and so forth…” When in reality, nothing we could have said or done would have changed their state of mind.

Furthermore, Pema Chodron, a Buddhist nun wrote of becoming comfortable with both being big and small.

Therefore, allowing ourselves to experience those times of feeling big and small without judgment or shame. Both of these life occurrences can co-exist together during one occasion and moment. Thank goodness we are open to learning from others. And we are blessed when we are in the presence of people who have mastered something challenging. We can be in awe. Yet support ourselves by remembering our individual areas of mastery. Simultaneously, we realize each one of us has our own built in schedule of working on the very qualities needing maturity, development, and strengthening in ourselves.